Everyone needs Jean Valjean

I was 11. We were on vacation in London, in the suburbs. I couldn't put it down. Well, I did skip the battle scenes and even as an adult I never could read through them.

And then there was the scene. The little girl, ill treated, a victim of nasty treatments by the Ténardier who pocketed the money paid by her mother for her pension and instead made her work like a slave and hit her and treated their own daughters like princesses. But then there was the scene. Cosette was carrying a bucket that was too heavy for her. She had to go get water at the spring in the woods. It was dark and scary.

 

  As she leant to fill her bucket, she lost the coin the Ténardier had just recommended she shouldn't lose but her rags could not hold the coin properly. The forest at night was no place for an 8 year old undernourished girl. But suddenly a hand shows up out of nowhere and picks the over heavy jug. Then he takes her hand in his, protecting her with his powerful body as they walk back to the village. And he gets her the beautiful doll the Ténardier could not afford to buy for their daughters.

Jean Valjean made everything right. He brought justice. Protection. Love.

And I longed for someone like him to come into my life. My world wasn't as hard as little Cosette's, but I had two older sisters and they would beat on me when they had to take their frustration out. My parents also hit me.  My home didn't feel safe. I was afraid of the crocodiles that hid under my bed, the foxes that came in the night and bit me in the stomach. My parents were not protective. They didn't understand about emotional safety. The boy next door bullied me for years, he hurt me, I was scared of him, but never for a minute thought of asking my parents for help, especially not my father who would have said, figure it out yourself. I couldn't bring any complaint from school either.

What I needed was Jean Valjean. 

 

 

The world needs Jean Valjean. The people in Ukraine. The people in Gaza. The women who endure domestic violence, and systemic violence. Children subjected to abuse. The people who are evicted from their homes, from their lands in various regions of the world. The men who work in mines in Africa. The animals losing their environment. The people in the US who need to be freed from the unbalanced dictator in the White House.  

And by extension I love Victor Hugo. He believed in a better life for Les Misérables. He had to go into exile because of his activism.

Dream big? Dream strong! A conversation with Numen

Day before Christmas. Lazy morning down at the Cheasepeake Bay, cup of tea in hand, newspapers spread out over the sofa. No internet.

- Who’s coming for Christmas dinner tomorrow? Numen, 20, wants to know.

-  I wanted to joke I had invited your heroes to Christmas dinner, I reply, but I don’t know who they are these days. Have you got any?

-  Gamers. A few others like Junot Diaz. But mostly gamers.

-  What do you admire about them?

-  I mostly admire the gamers who make it a philosophy of enjoying gaming even when they lose. If you can’t handle losing, you should not game. They support playing your best, and having fun. Also, teaming with other gamers is rewarding, adds to the fun, and is gentler on the ego when the other team wins.

-  Interesting you should say that, because I have been thinking how kids are told to “dream big” by educators, and also by successful inventors, and athletes, and pop idols. But very few will be stars, and that leads to a lot of frustration, look around you, The Big American Dream turns into The Big American Frustration, relieved by shopping or drug abuse or violence. We also tell the kids: you’re the best! You’re Number One! At the same time, it doesn’t make sense to tell kids: hey, dream really small because that might be all you get. What do you make of that?

- People blame themselves for what they see as their failure, whereas life is about playing, not winning. They think they made bad decisions that led to bad results and failure. A lot of luck is involved in life, just like in gaming. You don’t know what’s due to decisions, what’s due to chance. It’s not chess, where chance does not play a part because you make all the moves.

- True. Some chess players jump out the window, literally, when they lose. 

- Sometimes people make good decisions that don’t pan out, sometimes they make bad decisions that lead to success. Playing the lottery is always a bad decision, except for that one person who wins. It’s not “I need to become Rihanna or Tom Cruise or Einstein”, but “how can I push my acting skills, what science attracts me most, which friends do I really enjoy playing music with?”.- 

-  So what message should we share with kids, instead of “dream big”?

-  Dream strong. Do what you love, love what you do. Team up.

Contributed by  - -  Arabella Hutter in conversation with son Numen Rubino

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